SheResonance

  📷: Metro For the longest time, till today, women have and are still blamed for triggering, contributing or wholly responsible for the abuse they they suffer in the hands of violent men, in what is known as victim blaming.  "He hit her because she talks too much"  they say. Sadly, many women have also come to internalise this and hold themsleves responsible for such actions. "If only I did what I was told. I f only I just avoided what he hates, everything would be fine" I've heard a woman justify her abuse as she being stubborn. To her, she was deserving of the violence. But recent events are proving to us that the problem was and has always being the aggressor.  BBC reports a bizarre situation where Samantha, a £3000 sexbot was sexually harassed by men to the point of being in need of repair at a tech fare. It ended with her having 2 broken fingers. Santos, the maker of the doll, as reported by Metro bitterly complained that , ‘The people mounted Samantha...

Comments like these are just outrightly misogynistic. Interestingly, if his wife makes this statement , it would likely end in a family meeting. If you also ask Omobaobola if he considers his mother a part of their family, he would say YES forgetting that his mother is also a wife to someone. Reason being that men like these want to reserve the right to be misogynist to their wives because of the privilege it affords them, while creating an exception for the mothers, sisters or daughters they truly like.... but the sad truth about sexism is that there are no exceptions. The same system you uphold would come back to hunt you.  So how did comments like this come to be? A Historical Perspective. The idea that a woman is not a member of the family has a deep historical bearing rooted in patriarchy. In many old traditions in Nigeria, women were not seen as full humans, they were seen as property of the husband. A property might stay under the same roof as its owner, a property might eve...

📸: SheResonance   In Nigeria today, it is not unusual for the infamous 'Next of Kin' who is usually a parent or sibling to disinherit wives, and all these is predicated on a completely erroneous definition of what next of kin entails.  About 2 months back, a distrust and exhausted widow came to me complaining about her in-laws. They took over her husband's estate and left nothing for her. She is single handedly taking care of the children she had with her late husband who are now in the university.  In fact, she had to rent a house to stay because her mother in law rented out her husband's house and told her to hustle to take care of the children. She came, confused, asking "what rights do I have?" This is the question plaguing may Nigerian women- unawareness of the rights they have. Not just that, Some days back, a close relative of mine wanted to fill some employment form and when it was time to fill in the spot for next of kin, she called me to ask if she ...

Image credit: BollywoodShaadis. Derek Dixon accused Tyler Perry of of sexual assault, particularly what is known as Quid Pro Quo Sexual assault (see full explanation about it) and sued for $260 million! According to Dixon, as reported by BBC , he and Tyler met in 2019 where Tyler showed interest in helping him with his career in Hollywood, until things took a different turn and Tyler began making sexual overtures at him which he rejected. Tyler have him a role in his series the Oval & Ruthless and then told him that his character Dale would be killed off in the series if Dixon did not 'make him (Tyler) happy'. He also said he could get Dixon his own TV show if he complied.  He accused the Hollywood Exec of "coercive, sexually exploitative dynamic" while he was acting on The Oval and Ruthless which include pinning him to a wall and inappropriately groping him. What you should know about Quid Pro Quo Sexual Harassment. Over the years, I have heard people erroneously...

  Image credit: OtownGist. The crux of this problem. Started with the fact that women have no identity of their own. At birth, they are their fathers, at marriage, they are their sons, at their husband's death, they are their sons.  For a person who is never her own being but owned by others, it only makes sense that property cannot own a property. Which is why our approach to addressing these issue must address it at the root cause.  Recently, the news broke out that The late elder statesman and former Ohanaeze Ndigbo President -General, Chief (Engr. Dr. ) Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, has left behind a final Will that 'bans his wife, Lolo Frances from remarrying'. Apparently, if she chooses to remarry, she stands to forfeit the properties inherited.  This news coincided with the presently trending shocking story of Ifunanya , a girl who could not reach her father for six months, suspecting something was wrong, came back to her village to find out that her aunt's and uncles...