FETISH MINING: A Look Into the Digitisation of Gender Based Violence.

 

Fetish mining is as old as man. However, the rise of social media can be credited with digitising of Gender Based violence, such that, previously overlooked GBVs have crept their way to mainstream stage, never-heard-of GVBs are being given a name and coverage, and people often, but wrongly credit their recent media coverage as the overdoings of woke culture on a not-so-serious affair.

Fetish mining is one of those GBVs that was overlooked, but with the rise of social media, it presence has become so pronounced, such that, even UNDERAGED content creators are targets of fetish miners.

Fetish relates to an object of fixation that turns someone on usually in a sexual way.

Fetish shaming, as the name suggests involves shaming someone for having a fetish. 

Fetish mining on the other hand is a form of GBV and sexual exploitation that has to do with involving an unsuspecting person in fetish relates activities without their knowledge. 

Fetish mining is NOT fetish shaming because fetish mining deprives the target of their consent. 

Note that, consent might in fact be sought, however, the requisite knowledge needed to make an INFORMED DECISION is usually lacking, and for consent to be complete, it must be full and informed. 

While some fetishes raises red flag like paedophilic or necrophilic fetishes, however, fetish are not inherently a red flag, however, the way and manner in which one goes about satisfying their fetish (no matter how harmless the fetish is), can definitely be a red flag and that's what brings us to the idea of fetish mining.

Fetish mining has to do with making another person engage in your fetish without their knowledge or by forcing or pressuring them to do so.

For instance, you fell in love with a man. He never informed you that he has a foot fetish, so he hid his fetish under the guise of being a good boyfriend who pays for his girlfriend's pedicure, and then asks you to send pictures of your feet so that 'he can see the work that was done on your feet'.

Now, he is not asking for that photo because be wants to appreciate the artistry of your nail technician but for his sexual gratification. In this situation, that is fetish mining because it was done for his sexual gratification, without her FULL & INFORMED CONSENT.

In this particular scenario, note that:

👉 His foot fetish is in itself not bad.

 👉 No one was harmes in the process (although harm may result in violent fetishes).

👉 The lady herself benefited from it because he paid for her pedicure, however, he deprived her of her right to make informed choice, so he tricked her into participating in HIS fetish, for His pleasure without her consent. 

👉 The fact that she would have sent it if she was aware does not make it any less of a sexual exploitation. By failing to inform her, he denied her knowledge that might have influenced withdrawal.

And that brings us to what I term the 5 CARDINAL NOs of consent. We have heard so much about what consent is, now is time to highlight what consent is not:

1. Consent CANNOT be given until it is full & informed.

2. Consent CANNOT be given under fear of sanction or deprivations like loss of earnings, promotion, career advancement, hostile living or work environment, retaliation, blackmail, deprivations of rights & privileges etc.

3. Consent CANNOT be overstretched to include situations that were not envisaged: Consent to Kiss is not consent to have sex, consent to engage in oral sex is not consent to penetrate. One cannot UNILATERALLY decide to take it all the way without the concurrence of the other party.

4. Consent is true only for the purpose in which it is given: If Mr A pays for & requests to see Ms B's pedicure pictures to appreciate the work done but uses it for foot fetish purposes, or if Ms A consents to sending her nudes to Mr B for his own personal consumption and he distributed them to others not intended for, it is abuse notwithstanding that she willingly sent it. She only consented to it being used for his sex pleasure of her partner, not his friends, definitely not the whole world. 

5. Consent is NOT given in infinity: Consent today does not amount to consent tomorrow and the days after.

And because fetish mining violates all these cardinal NOs, it is abusive even if the fetish itself is harmless.

There are fetish content creators online dedicated to that. However, fetish miners prey on the naivety of their targets who are unaware of the true intent behind such requests.

How to spot fetish mining.

1. Innocent yet out of place: 

Normal request: “Can you explain how scuba diving equipment works?”

Fetish request: "Can you wear the scuba driving suit and tie your hair in a piggy tail do it does not obstruct the back view and turn your back?"

2. Very specific & detailed requests: Imagine a show seller advertises her show and someone shows interest, only for the person to make a request "Can you paint your nails red and wear a peep toe show with a leg chain? It will enhance your views" or 

"I will send you this beautiful pink dress I think will look great on you. Can you wear or, tie up your hair in a pony tail and meow. It will look cute on you".

"I like that dress you are advertised. Can you take a picture of yourself in it and turn around so I can see the detailing behind before I buy it?"

Often times, content creators, vendors and even celebrities are bombarded with fetish requests

Things like these are also common in fan services like we see rendered by K-pop idols to please fans. 

Consent Coalition said "No matter how they try to hide it, fetish request will always sound out of place" so you trust your instint and watch out for it.

3. Repetitive and Obsessive requests: Where they are not first timers, they may keep repeating certain words or concepts in the request.

Sometimes, they test the waters by making harmless requests, but as you indulge, they get more detailed, more extreme, or more prolonged.

4. Incongruent Tone: The request doesn't match the usual vibe of the platform or story type eg a booktok content creator being asked to say certain words in a certain way.

5. Requests for Excessive Roleplay or "Hypotheticals": 

6. Evasive when questioned: If in doubt, ask questions. Fetish miners are usually evasive since they prey on the naivety or unawareness of their targets. 

Conclusively, fetish mining need not be harmful, nonetheless, they violate a person's right to choose to participate or not to participate. Consent should be first had an received. Remember, every human is an autonomous being, no one deserves to be put in a position that compromises their autonomy. 

     - DOGO JOY NJEB Esq.

She is a practicing lawyer and founder of SheResonance Awareness. She has worked with Legal Aid Council Nigeria and is a member of Federation of Female lawyers on Nigeria where she renders pro bono services to indigent persons. She is a private practitioner, a writer and an aspiring author.

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