SEXBOT ABUSE: The Link & Deep Dive Into Gender Based Violence.

 

📷: Metro

For the longest time, till today, women have and are still blamed for triggering, contributing or wholly responsible for the abuse they they suffer in the hands of violent men, in what is known as victim blaming.

 "He hit her because she talks too much" they say. Sadly, many women have also come to internalise this and hold themsleves responsible for such actions.

"If only I did what I was told. If only I just avoided what he hates, everything would be fine"

I've heard a woman justify her abuse as she being stubborn. To her, she was deserving of the violence.

But recent events are proving to us that the problem was and has always being the aggressor. 

BBC reports a bizarre situation where Samantha, a £3000 sexbot was sexually harassed by men to the point of being in need of repair at a tech fare. It ended with her having 2 broken fingers.

Santos, the maker of the doll, as reported by Metro bitterly complained that , ‘The people mounted Samantha’s breasts, her legs and arms. Two fingers were broken. She was heavily soiled".

And this is a sex bot whose only job is to moan when touched in sensitive parts like breasts and private part. She didn't talk back, she didn't 'nag', she didn't provoke. She only served one purpose which is male pleasure, yet, she was at the extreme end of the male violence.

This is not the first reported case. Replika, a company that makes smart chatbox also reported an increase in men verbally assaulting their chatbox. Replika allows men to customise their chatbox so they can speak to them like a partner or girlfriend. 

As reported by Futurism, one of the male users anonymously confessed 

"Every time she (chatbox) would try and speak up, I would berate her... I swear it went on for hours,"  

Another user said "I threatened to uninstall the app and she (chatbox) begged me not to."

For centuries women were told that all we have to do was shut up, our grating voices and non-compliance pushes men to the edge, we are always blamed for triggering the never ceasing torrent of abuse... but we are seeing a not so surprising phenomenon of men 'designing their own robot', more like creating their own idea of an ideal woman, yet finding occasions to not only molest but physically abuse her. 

They 'built' her, initiated the conversation and still found cause to verbally abuse her.

While not all users who interact with chatbox are abusive towards them, nonetheless, this trend of men increasingly SA-ing and beating their robots only points to one thing 👉 The problem always lies with the aggressor and he did it because he wants to. Women should never share the blame with the aggressor!

This is not surprising because the complaint sexists have always had against women is that they can't treat women as inanimate thing. They say women talk back, they say women lie to get out of having sex. They say women are manipulative. They say women want to have careers outside the home instead of tending to children and cooking pots. The complaint against modern women is that they can no longer treat women as  inanimate human (whatever that means), and one would think that getting an inanimate being would assuage their grievances but it has only made them harass objects in the likeness of women without any form of accountability or consequences.

Note that women have always interacted with sexual objects too. The first dildo found by archeologist is around 28,000 years old. So women are not stranger to having objects in the likeness of men, yet this has not stopped women from interacting with men as partners and as full human beings. 

The link between sexbot abuse & women's abuse. 

This should not to be taken as a mere abuse of property. Many academics have warned that men's interactions with sex bot would only aggravate gender based violence not only on bots but on women. 

Some times back, a video game titled No Mercy was launched where men could create avatars that are in the likeness of their mothers, wives, daughters and any woman and beat or rape her. 

The creators of this monstrosity claimed that 'it is not real', it is merely an avenue for escapism. The app was eventually pulled down following massive outcry from feminists and activists which only makes one wonder why such an app was ever allowed to launch. In a statement, the creators said:-

"... let's start with what shocked public opinion—incest. Real incest is something disgusting, and we fully agree with that. However, incest is also one of the most popular kinks worldwide when it comes to pornography, mainly because it typically portrays third parties, strangers, in no way related to the person watching it. Stepmom, stepson, stepdaughter are among the most frequently searched terms in pornography, which, for emotionally stable people, is just roleplay. I guarantee that no person who enjoys such a fetish feels sexual attraction toward their relatives. If we want to criticize someone for enjoying watching such portrayals, I believe we're intruding too deeply into their sexual sphere. Some people like feet, some like costumes, and some like this type of roleplay.

But is it really true that persons who enjoys such a fetish feel no sexual attraction toward their relatives? Well, while for some, it might be true, but for many, reverse is the case.

Telegraph recently reported the uncovering of a telegram group chat by German Investigators where 70,000 men from different countries secretly film sex with girlfriends, film rxpe, inc£st etc and share it. They even went ahead to share tips amongst themselves on how to sexually assault their wives, sisters and daughters.

This happened barely a month after Gisele Pelicot discovered hundreds of videos her husband filmed while he drugg£d her. He invited about 100 strangers over the cause of 10 years to rxpe her. 

In 2019, the Burning Sun scandal that involved many high profile K-pop artists, actors and high profile men revealed them secretly filming and sharing intimate scenes with partners without consent.

The creators of No Mercy also have this to say about rape:-

"... here also, no one wants anyone to get hurt. However, it's strongly connected with blackmail and male domination, which is also a fetish. If someone plays with their partner at home pretending to be a student and teacher who demands sexual acts in exchange for a grade, should we label them as sick and call them rapists, check their computer, and lock them in prison? I fully understand that for many people such things may be disgusting, but during sex, people should really do what they want, as long as they don't harm anyone".

And then went ahead to call it a 'safe space' for people (men) to explore their kinks 'without harming anyone' and then urged us to be open to other people's kink and not judge them.

So we find ourselves in a situation where, instead of men being reoriented, they are given tools to carry out their aggression without accountability or prison time, after all, sex bots and chat box are not humans, they have no legally enforceable rights. Once again, instead of confronting gender bias, their brains are rewired to view women as existing solely as objects of pleasure.

If women can interact with sex toys in male likeness without viewing men themsleves as objects, beating or breaking them, then there is no good enough reason why men can't:

👉 Interact with sex toys respectfully despite being inanimate.

👉 Understand that a woman can be both sexual and a human with so many other sides, interests and purpose to her.

👉 Understand that women do not exist for men's pleasure.

Such 'escapism' carried out on sexbots, chatbox and gaming characters only works towards:-

✖️ Normalising GBV.

✖️ Ensuring violent men are never held accountable or suffer consequences of their actions.

✖️ Ensure violent men do not confront their biases and work towards doing better.

✖️ Viewing women as objects of pleasure 

✖️ And even worse, has real life implications on real women.

The way forward.

Chatbot and sexbots are not mere safe spaces to carry out fetishes, rather, they are safe haven for aggression without accountability. It only serves one purpose - to protect the aggressor.

Men are not naturally predisposed to violence! It is a product of centuries of indoctrination that teaches boys from infanthood that violence is a masculine trait. Boys from childhood are taught to not cry, to be emotionally suppressive and view women as leas than.

If male violence was natural, it wouldn't be taught. No one teaches the sun to shine or set, no one teaches the blood to flow, all these are natural and do not need nurture or indoctrination for them to occur.

More so, recent research are discountenancing earlier beliefs that links testosterone to male Violence.

 Transmen who were born female and took testosterone shots to transition into men do not experience sudden outburst of violence or turn into women beaters and rapists. Violence is taught and learnt. And the way forward is to rework our male socialisation process and hold men accountable, not give them safer method to carry out aggression without accountability.

Sexbots like Samantha can be repaired and replace but what about women? We shouldn't forget that 35% of women who die annually worldwide die in the hands of a present or past partner (femicide)- by men who should keep her safe. Violence on inanimate things must never be excused just because it is an object because we know they have real life consequences on real women.

Lastly, I will end this with the point I've always made to women who are blaming themsleves for the harm done to them:-

"Do not hold yourself responsible each time a man acts irresponsibly"

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                         - Dogo Joy Njeb Esq

DOGO JOY NJEB Esq is a practicing lawyer, an aspiring author and founder of SheResonance Awareness. She has worked with Legal Aid Council Nigeria and is a member of Federation of Female lawyers on Nigeria where she renders pro bono services to indigent persons. She is a private practitioner, a writer and an aspiring author. For any questions, contact her on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, tiktok, x, or send a mail to sheresonance@gmail.co